On Friday morning, January 11th, I woke at 5:30 am to some
strong contractions 5-10 minutes apart.
Thinking it may have been warm-up contractions that I had similarly
experienced on Thursday morning, I tried to ignore them by taking a warm shower
to wash off the Henna design I had re-decorated on my belly the night before
since it was starting to fade. After my
shower, I got back in bed feeling refreshed, but continued to feel
contractions. At about 7 a.m. my
daughter woke up and came into our room for her morning nursing session. She latched on as usual and…WHOA. Two very strong contractions just a few
minutes apart caused me to yank her off painfully. “I think this is it,” I said to my husband,
“I think we are going to have a baby today.”
He got my daughter a cup of soy milk as I called the midwife. Learning of my situation, she told me it
would be wise to call my cousin and her wife to take my daughter for the day,
as was the plan for labor. She advised
me that often labor will not progress until other children are away because the
caretaking position often interferes with birthing to protect moms from doing
both at once. She told me to call when
my cousin arrives and she would be at my home shortly thereafter.
I hung up and got to work packing my daughter’s overnight bag
and getting my house set up with my husband’s support in-between
contractions. He was running around like
a chicken with his head cut off…starting one thing but not finishing, then
wondering what to do next. He was so
excited and nervous that he even forgot to look at the detailed list telling
him EXACTLY what to do, step-by-step, before the midwives arrived. On a side note, I might mention to the
midwives that an MP3 to play as soon as labor starts, repeating each step about
ten times before moving on to the next would be useful for husbands such as
mine who lose all sense of organization when a baby is on its way!
By 11am, my
cousin was at my house helping me through the somewhat stronger contractions,
my daughter had left with my cousin’s wife to a family birthday party, my
midwife had arrived, and my husband was STILL running around aimlessly trying
to figure out what to do next. The
midwife got to work promptly, setting up the supplies and calmly requesting
items and information from my husband to keep him on task. Slowly, he began to relax, and we all settled
down for some butternut squash soup I had prepared the night before during my
extreme nesting session. Every few
minutes, in-between slurps of soup, I’d have to stop and get on my elbows and
knees to get through a contraction, while my husband or cousin massaged my
lower back. The poofy ottoman and the
birthing ball were my best friends during early labor. Enya played soothingly in the background.
At about 1:00, 7 ½ hours in, we found I was 3cm dilated and
90% effaced, baby’s head at +2 station, meaning it was REALLY low and my cervix
was very far behind it. To help things
along, the midwife pulled the cervix gently forward during two contractions,
and within 30 minutes, I was in active labor.
Although it was a bit uncomfortable, I was very glad she had made the
effort to help speed things along, as my legs and arms were already starting to
give!
By 3:15pm, I was exhausted already, but had the extreme
determination to keep going. I continued
to prefer being on my elbows and knees on the floor, having a much harder time
getting out of the position even though my knees and elbows were getting very
sore. However, when the birth tub was
mentioned, I moved to my bedroom to labor on my chest and knees while they set
up the tub in the living room. At this
point, I was 5 cm dilated, and things were progressing well. I couldn’t get comfortable anymore! I switched positions on the bed numerous
times feeling like a train had hit me every time I moved into another
position. I concentrated on my breath
and meditated through the time between contractions. Everything I had trained for went out the
window during contractions except a bunch of low and loud moaning noises to keep
me focused. It felt very animalistic at
this point, and I had to keep reminding myself that my body was meant to do
this. Women have been doing this since
the beginning of humankind, and I kept reminding myself that no matter how
intense it got, it would never be more than I could handle. My “Mindful Birthing” class had trained me to
be “non-striving” which helped a lot at this point. In other words, I focused on the here and
now, getting through each one and not concentrating on when the next contraction
would come or how much longer this process would take. I just made my way through, one step at a
time, and continued thinking this way through the whole labor.
At 4:30 I was reclining at the end of the bed when I
experienced some awful heartburn. At
this point, I was down to one-word sentences, and upon mentioning heartburn, my
now-very-coherent husband got me some coconut shavings in milk (my go-to cure
for pregnancy heartburn). Ahh. At 4:40pm I was guided to the birthing
tub. Double, triple, quadruple
ahhhh! Upon hitting that warm, soothing
water, all my muscles sighed in instant relief and pleasure. It was as if suddenly I was returned to the
womb myself. The horse-trough tub (never
used by horses, FYI) had foam insulating pads wrapped around the rim for
comfort, and the water was the perfect soothing temperature. All my aching muscles suddenly felt numb and
relieved and I soon realized why laboring in a tub is so wonderful, especially
after many hours tensing up my arms and legs and rug-burning my knees and
elbows! As Yanni played in the
background, my cousin turned on all the electric flickering candles and placed
them around the room as the sun began to go down. As my husband braced himself on a stool
behind me, I would grab his arms and pull at every strong contraction, which
were getting even more painful. However,
in-between contractions during which my husband stated, I “pulled his arms
off,” I would concentrate on slowing my breath and meditating, often drifting
into dreamland between contractions for a few minutes at a time. Amidst the pressure waves, there was peace
and tranquility.
At 4:50 I felt the need for something sweet, so the midwife
brought me a spoonful of honey, and 3 minutes later, it all came up! Luckily, my cousin was super-fast with a bowl
and managed to catch everything I ate that morning before it hit the
water. I was very thankful for her fast
reaction time! At 5:40 p.m., my cousin relieved
my husband from his own back-breaking and arm-twisting labor of holding me up
during contractions, and as my cousin endured my wrath, my husband did some
yoga. It was still very peaceful in the
room. At this point, I was very happy to
be doing all this in the comfort of my own home.
At 6:00 p.m. things started getting stronger, and I had a
slight urge to push the baby out, but not extremely strong, so I mentioned
quietly, “I kinda feel like pushing.”
Apparently that was the cue to see if we could get things moving again,
and since I hadn’t urinated in many hours, they helped me out of the tub to the
bathroom to see if that would help. Upon
entrance to the bathroom another strong contraction brought me to my hands and
knees. I wasn’t able to pee no matter
how hard I tried. The midwives helped me
take my wet bra off and helped me to the bed to try something new. Again, train wreck after train wreck trying
to get into a comfortable position, but the contractions began to get very
close together and even stronger. Just
when I thought it couldn’t get any more intense, it did!
At 7:25 I found my most comfortable and successful position
on my back with my husband holding one leg and my cousin holding the other,
both giving me loving, supporting words of encouragement each step of the
way. I never had imagined I would give
birth in the traditional on-the-back manner, but it was honestly the only
position I could withstand after already spending 14 hours laboring on my
hands, elbows, knees, side, etc. I began
pushing, concentrating on sending the baby down and squeezing my husband’s and
cousin’s hands with all my strength even when I wanted to give them a
break! At 7:39 p.m. my water broke with
a strong “pop” and gush, and everything started happening quickly after that. At 8pm I kneeled at the edge of the bed,
supported by my husband as I grasped and pulled on his neck. They could see the baby’s head! And I could see that this position was
awfully uncomfortable for both my husband and me, so I got back to the back
position on the bed. At 8:40 I was
making great progress at each push, and it felt satisfying and liberating to be
pushing. Honestly, the pushing was my
favorite part of the whole experience.
It felt good to bear down and give every inch of every bit of strength I
had left in my body to birth my baby. At
8:53, the baby’s head was born and he immediately started crying before being
fully born! Everyone was in awe and my
husband was obviously ecstatic and so amazed by the whole experience. At 8:55, one of the midwives guided my hands
under my baby’s arms and instructed me to give one last liberating push, and
the baby was born into my own arms as I lifted the new being to my chest. It was a moment I will never forget. The pain instantly made way for pleasure,
love, and happiness. The room was
suddenly filled with an otherworldly ecstatic joy emitting from every being in
the room. It was indescribable, the
feeling I could tell we all had at that moment.
After I had calmed the baby’s cries, I asked if it was a boy
or girl. I had already made a guess
based on the baby’s face, but wasn’t certain, since as soon as I lifted the
baby, the midwife had covered it with a receiving blanket. They looked around at each other and one of
the midwives said, “We don’t know yet.
Why don’t you find out yourself?”
How satisfying it was to be able to reach down myself and say, “I feel
balls! It’s a BOY!”
After the placenta was born, my daughter came back with my
cousin’s wife and mother-in-law to meet the baby. She was so happy. She kept saying, “baby” and pointing to all
his features, naming them in turn.
“Ears, nose, mouth, eyes…” She
couldn’t stop looking at him. It was
very sweet! We then had a toast with
champagne and sparkling cider (my husband even put sparkling cider in my
daughter’s sippy cup so she could toast, too…her first bubbly drink ever) to a
healthy baby boy and a wonderful home birth, and my midwives came in with a
plate filled with bananas, cheese and crackers, and chocolate chips with a
candle in the middle as they sang Happy Birth-day to me and my new son. It was the most joyous moment of my
life.
After the umbilical cord was cut by my husband at 9:40 p.m.,
we put him in his first diaper…a Rock-A-Bums diaper in bright red, of
course! After that, he was weighed, and
the newborn exam was given. He was
perfect in every way. A ten on all
apgars, 8 pounds even, and 19 5/8” long.
Throughout my labor, my midwives monitored his heartbeat and were pleased
to find that throughout the entire process, there were never any decels, which
can be common during pushing. The little
man is big and strong!
Within an hour he was nursing well, and when my milk came in
a few days later, he was nursing like a champ.
My daughter adjusted very well to the new baby, often wanting to hold
him and share nursing time with him, patting him on the head or holding his
hand while they both nursed. Such a
loving experience for both of my kids, and for me as well! The midwives visited me again at day 1, day
3, day 5, and every week thereafter, checking on me and the baby and answering
any and all questions, taking care of things such as the newborn exam and birth
records for the state, and getting some lovely footprints on a home-birth
certificate as a keepsake. He has yet to
visit a doctor’s office and I am happy to not have to take him to one yet. The home-birth experience is by far one of
the best decisions I have ever made.
CLOTH
DIAPERING A NEWBORN FROM THE START: MUCH
MORE CONVENIENT AND ECONOMICAL
With a newborn, we go through way more diapers than a
toddler, as expected. We have found that a wash every morning, and hang-drying
diapers on our Ikea rack on the patio to be dry by evening, is the best
situation for us. My husband’s new daily
morning job is starting a load of diapers and emptying the dishwasher, which
makes the rest of my day go by smoothly while he is at school. My daughter loves to help me unload the
washer and hang the laundry each morning.
Since we have had the washer, our utility cost have gone up…bear with me
here…TWO dollars!!! That’s less than the
cost of a single wash at the laundry room!
It has cost only two dollars for probably about 5-7 loads of diapers a
week and 3 loads of laundry a week for the past 3 weeks. The portable washer was such a great
gift! Now, compare washing a load daily
IN MY OWN APARTMENT to the hassle of going to the store to buy disposables
every week and that’s reason in itself to cloth diaper. When my daughter was born, buying diapers
weekly was such a hassle. And then add
new daddy with baby to the mix, and you get the credit card left at the store
and an extra trip back to the store to get it (yes, this really happened)! If that’s not enough reason to cloth diaper,
add the cost of disposables and your own LARGE corner of the landfill and you
will see my point. Diapers should be
changed as soon as they are wet if possible, to prevent irritation and rashes
for baby. This means at least 10-12
diapers (or more) each day for a while.
That’s a whole trash can of diapers OR a small load of laundry each
day. Which would you prefer?
With Rock-A-Bums diapers, we also have the ease of quick
changes of diaper inserts at night-time (so easy and simple so we can get to sleep
again faster), and the ability to use them on both our newborn and our
toddler. Here’s a little photo-shoot of
my kids rockin’ their one-size Rock-A-Bums diapers! It is amazing how well the same diaper will
fit an 8-pounder and an almost 30-pounder!
I am happy to announce that everything is going phenomenally
so far, and that my daughter is well on her way to being completely out of
diapers, thanks to the cloth experience.
It’s all gone quite smoothly, aside from the first day on my own with
two kiddos, but any mother of two will have those days, right?! Here’s a glimpse into that first interesting
day:
First I hear the all-too-common squirts coming from my son’s
bottom. I wait about 5 minutes before changing him and then bring him to the
changing table. As I am changing him, my daughter runs to go to her own potty
to pee. As soon as I get his diaper off, my son surprises me with projectile
breast-milk poo, squirting yellow goo all over the front of my shirt, himself,
and the floor while spitting up milk all over his shirt at the same time. I get
him in a new diaper and cleaned up and then help my daughter pour her pee in
the big potty. Then the doorbell rings and I answer, with my poop stained tank
top on of course...it's the maintenance man and some other guy to check the
fire sprinklers. I ask him to wait a couple minutes while I put undies on my
daughter. Oh man, talk about an intense 10 minutes!!!
Ah, the joys
of being a mother of two! Let the
adventures begin!
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